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Scary Movie Reviews
Underworld: Evolution
Release Date: January 20th, 2006 (wide)
Length: 1 Hr. 45 Min.
Rated: R for pervasive strong violence and gore, some sexuality/nudity and language.
Distributor:
Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Tony Curran, Sir Derek Jacobi, Bill Nighy
Directed by: Len Wiseman
Produced by: Skip Williamson, Henry Winterstern, Terry A. McKay
Written by: Danny McBride (II), Len Wiseman, Kevin Grevioux
When Underworld came out, it was quite a rage and many people flocked the theaters to see Kate Beckinsale as a leather clad hottie vampire. The film was based on the world of the vampires and werewolves - who were in a constant state of war to get ultimate power over the world. It's funny, how in these films humans are reduced to food for these supernatural beings and appear conveniently when the latter get hungry. Anyway, to continue, Selena (Kate Beckinsale) is one of the trusted vampires in her team, until she falls for a human, Michael - one who is destined to be the one who would make history. Both, the vampires and werewolves want him but Selena springs him free. Though this does not happen in time - he is infected and has turned into a vamiolf - if such a thing exists. It means that he is the most powerful of all and he kills both the heads of each team. Story over.
But the story is not over as a new one emerges - The Underworld: Evolution. Understandably, it is the sequel to the one prior discussed. This story begins where the first one left off - Selene and Michael (Scott Speedman) are on the run after killing the leaders of both the vampires and the werewolves. One would think that they are the new rulers now. But it is foolish to think that the dark world does not have other contenders for the numero uno position. Now it’s Marcus - the first vampire EVER who wakes up from his coffin and feels like owning the world. His plan is to free his twin brother who, get this, happens to be the first werewolf ever and reign over the world. It is only up to Selene and Michael to stop Marcus’ evil plan and preserve humanity.
Wow…if you followed that, I salute you! Hell, even I didn’t follow it! This has to be the most twisted plot EVER! To begin with, why on earth are Michael and Selene trying to protect mankind, which by the way does not feature much in the film? The action scenes too are totally ahead of our times - you can’t understand what is happening. All you can see is a blur of black leather and teeth. Oh, the teeth are the true stars of the film.
The director - well, Kate’s husband has over estimated the capacity of the human mind because most of us won’t be able to understand this film. Also, there are so many time cuts in the film - one minute you are in today and the next, you are in medieval Romania! It is unfathomable and crazy.
The acting almost takes to you hell and you come back only once the film is over. But one must admit Selene and Michael are wonderful eye candy and help make the film bearable, if only for a short while. It’s a mediocre movie with subpar acting and the only emotion that you can see is the gnashing of teeth.
So unless you are a die hard fan of the lead actors, or this genre, please do yourself and your brain a favor and don’t go under.
UNDERSTAND?
